Once upon a time, I was in college. It almost seems like it was in a galaxy far far away…It was only about six years ago that I walked into USC’s Acting for Film class in the Booker T auditorium and immediately spotted a girl with piercing eyes, long black hair, and pale skin.
I thought to myself,
“Why does this girl look like Megan Fox? And WHY does she have to be in this class, this semester, with me?”
I don’t know if you’ve picked up what I’ve been puttin’ down in my other blog posts, but uh, I’ve struggled with my confidence and self-esteem. Who doesn’t? But there was a point in time when I was extremely intimidated by every girl I came across that was roughly my age…and if we had the same interests, I was also silently very jealous and competitive.
It was hard for me to just talk to Megan Fox, even though I kind of wanted to…so I’d listen when she would talk with other people and try to find some way to interject, thinking I would be metaphorically reaching my hand out as a peace offering. Why I thought there needed to be a peace offering, IDK? My brain was in a weird place.
Eventually we did talk and worked on projects in class together.
She was cool, talented, and focused. She was on a mission to be an actress, and she was doing it! She was in plays, and not just plays…MUSICALS, which made me even more jealous because I can’t sing worth a damn. Plus she had a face that looked awesome on camera. In person too, but like, really really ridiculously good on camera.
We ended up doing a couple of film projects together after the class ended. We fought zombays & stuff…
Even though we were working together, we hadn’t fully crossed over into what I call, “friend territory,” if you know what I mean? We were friendly, but we didn’t really hang out or text…in fact, I wasn’t sure if she actually really liked me, but there was something about her that started to set off sirens in my head, “WE NEED TO BE FRIENDS.”
This is maybe weird to admit, but whatever, I’ve passed that threshold…
I would look at her Facebook periodically just to see what she was up to…sometimes out of jealousy and sometimes because I’m nosey AF. One day I noticed she posted pictures of herself wrapped up in these pretty pink fabrics…doing splits and this cool back bending thing that even now I’m like, “Wait, how did she get there?”
She told me about aerial silks and how she went up to Charlotte to take a class and that I should go with her some time. I brushed it off because I was still way too intimidated to ride 3 hours with her & go to a class to do things she was already good at…like, who does totally normal, fun things like that?! Thank the good Lord, a new aerial studio opened in Columbia around that time and I ended up taking classes there…you know the rest. People ask me how I got into silks, well, there you go. I saw Megan Fox doing it on Facebook.
At some point, I worked up the courage to hang with Foxy on her very own silks (yes, she had her own silks because she’s cool and dedicated) from a very low tree branch on the Horseshoe. After snapping a few pictures and getting gawked at for awhile, we rode around the old abandoned asylum on Bull St and I remember feeling really unsure of myself, wondering if I was coming off extra dorky & lame, but thinking, “I think a friendship is happening.”
At this point, you might be wondering why I had so many weird issues with this girl. I didn’t have issues with this girl, I had issues with myself. I was going through and getting over a breakup that left me feeling worthless and marginally hating every girl that wasn’t already my friend. At the same time, many of my close friends left Columbia and I was into my second year of living alone with my dog. I was going through early-twenties growing pains and it sucked. I tried focusing that energy into my grad school thesis project, which was to write, produce, direct, act in, and edit a web series. In the web series, there were supposed to be four main characters, and two characters are best friends. The semester before shooting this project, I was assigned a cinematography project to test out the look and feel for the series. I needed stand-ins for this and was able to grab four lovely actresses, one of them being Foxy, to help me out. When it came time to audition people for the real thing, she was the first to jump on it and she also brought a friend boy to audition. I was having a hard time making a decision on the part of the best friend to my character. I was stuck between two people and I didn’t want to tell either of them that I went with the other one. I was sitting on my couch when I got a text from Foxy asking if I’d made a decision yet, complete with a smiley face. I took it as a sign and asked her to be my character’s BFF. She seemed genuinely excited. And it excited me that someone was excited to be a part of my project.
I had no idea that this girl was going to change my life.
Shortly after that she invited me to a masquerade party with her and some friends, the boy she had brought to the audition and another boy. At some point while I was talking to my new masked friends about old TV shows and other dorky things, I remember thinking things felt like they were going to get better. These people were fairly new to me, but something about them felt a little bit like home.
The following months of filming 20 Something Webseries, and the “funemployment” period after graduation, were some of the most challenging I’d had in my whopping 23 years, but they were also the most fun and generated so many of my favorite memories…and I owe pretty much all of them to Foxy. The girl I’d been afraid of since walking into class that day became the brightest source of light for me at the time I needed it most. She invited me into her group of friends when I felt alone, she supported me, believed in me, and she helped me pick up pieces of myself I forgot even existed.
Since then, she’s become one of my “pillar people.”
Whenever a boy makes me cry, she’s the first I’m going to call & she’s promptly going to put them on her shit list for the rest of forever.
Our conversation never ends, even if there are a few days of silence in between.
She is one of the most thoughtful people I’ve ever met. From the time we “crossed into the friend zone”, I’ve been in awe of how considerate a friend she is and she inspires me to be a better friend.
She’s supportive like no other, please check out her newsfeed right now if you need proof.
On top of all that, she’s smart, talented, beautiful, and all around magical.
So, happiest of happy birthdays to my ride or die! I love you, even though you’re old now, and thank you for being the best friend I always wanted and never knew I needed. ❤