Valentine’s Day is this weekend.

Some of you are celebrating love, some of you are celebrating family & friends, some of you are celebrating chocolate (me), & some of you are trying your best to ignore it.

Either way, I’m here to help.

I’ve created some Valentine’s you’re more than welcome to save & send, or cheaply print & mail, or totally ignore. It’s up to you. Yay free will!

These Valentine’s could aptly be described as “Valentine’s for those who don’t know how to appropriately express themselves.”

Here’s a Valentine for someone you could see yourself getting serious with:


Here’s a Valentine for someone you’ve been casually dating, but you’re ready to be exclusive & you’re tired of sharing:



Careful, that one could backfire on you.

Here’s one for someone whose bones you want to jump & also watched the Superbowl:



Here’s one for someone you think is just so dang attractive:

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Anybody have Chris Pratt’s mailing address?

Here’s one for someone whose presence you’d like to enjoy on this earth for awhile:


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Here’s one for your soul mate:

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Or if you’re feeling frisky, here’s the Rated R version:



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Here’s one for the couples ignoring Valentine’s Day:


Here’s one for someone you like but you’re too nervous to tell them because they might not feel the same way:

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It’s suggestive, but you could also play it off like you didn’t fully understand what it meant if it goes awry…maybe.

Here’s a Valentine for a friend or the Fonz:


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Alright fellas, here’s one to give to the girl you’ve been dating awhile but haven’t seen without make up yet & you want to let her know, hey, I really like you for you:

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That one is pretty versatile…if you think about it.

Bonus Break-Up Valentine.

First of all, don’t break up with someone of Valentine’s Day.

Second, one of my favorite lines is “If you were a booger, I’d pick you.” So…

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This could also be used as a NOT break-up Valentine…

So those are all the awkward Valentine’s I have this year. Feel free to use them or not.

Either way, let your family & friends & what-nots know how much you love & appreciate them & have a Happy Valentine’s Day!

Thanks for reading! Here’s a video version of this post, if you feel so inclined:

All my love,